whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
