Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Randomize
