The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
