i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
How does one acquire holy water?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
