oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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