It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
