i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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