Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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