i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
everyone is single if you try hard enough
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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