Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
