Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
