I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize
