they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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