I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
We have started to decorate penises.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
