i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Boobs are out for the taking
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
