I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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