my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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