Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
and she was petting her beer can
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Randomize
