hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
That's when you crack a 10am beer
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
