Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
