I looked at my own cervix.
now i know why i became what i already was.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
