I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
