At least make sure they are 18
Why
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
