I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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