Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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