So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
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