Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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