Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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