why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
