No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
