i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
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It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
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All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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