i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
You ate ashes out of my bong
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
