remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
