Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Randomize
