He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
