dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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