I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
she smelled like a LAN party
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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