It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
