You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
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