As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
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