PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
The power of my boobs compel you
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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