Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize