you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize