i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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