The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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