Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
