yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Randomize
