Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Dear god my vagina.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
