I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
