You work out of a Hotel?
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
