You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Do you still have your period?
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I love having hate sex.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
The air taste purple.
Randomize
