he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
