and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
