i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
