I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
