her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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