So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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