I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
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