Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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