All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
