I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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