Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
