Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Randomize
