let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
