Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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