Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
