kristin has been a bad kristin
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
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