I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
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Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
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I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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