Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
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It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
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I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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