I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
