careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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